Someone thinks I'm not crazy ...

Rather, someone thinks I'm not crazy ENOUGH.  :D 

I know it's a bit late, since it actually came in before Thanksgiving, but the Commonwealth (and my local county) decided that I wasn't crazy enough to deny a Concealed Carry Permit. 

Now, if only I can get my wife to finish the paperwork and get hers and I might not worry as much about her out and about with the kids.  Maybe when she sees what I got her for Christmas, she'll be inclined to stop procrastinating.

Sadly, working on a Federal reservation (not naming it due to privacy issues), I'm forced to be unarmed on the way to/from work.  When I run errands after work, it's a choice between driving home first (which usually means I'm going to end up NOT running the errands 'cause frankly I don't want to leave again when I get home.) or going unarmed to run the errands.  Hitting the grocery store - not a problem, usually as it's literally on the drive home. 

Ah, well.  It's all good for driving me even crazier (and yes, the peanut gallery will say that it's a really short trip).

- Sham

What a Wonderful Wife

It's been 17 years (to the exact day - it was a Friday, it's now Friday) since we held a small ceremony in my father-in-law's church.  17 years where things have been up, down, sideways, bent, spent and mutilated.  17 years that I don't regret for even a moment.  As Garth Brooks said in "The Dance", "I could've missed the pain, but then I would've missed the dance."


For Better or For Worse - We've had rocky patches over the years.  What pair if humans can live in close confines with another without SOME disagreements? And if you says "My parents didn't fight", I just say - they were better at hiding it.  It's natural to disagree, even with your mate.  What's not natural is for you to allow that disagreement to come between you.  We've had to work hard (extremely hard at some points) to manage the disagreements in a healthy manner, but we did.  Still together 17 years later and she's still my best friend.

For Richer and For Poorer - We've never been rich, money-wise.  Many years ago, we made a decision that I do not regret.  Even knowing what I do now, I'd still make the same decision.  We decided that the best thing for the children (of which we have been blessed with four) would be She Who Must Be Adored would remain home with them.  It's made it ... interesting ... from time to time dealing with a single income, but with loving family on both sides, we've managed to survive.  Seeing the way the kids have turned out, we would do it again. She Who Must Be Adored is a wonderful mother (even if she doesn't always think so) that has done right so far by her kids.  Oh, and by me.  But I tend to forget about me.  :)

In Sickness and In Health - Both of us have health issues that make it difficult sometimes.  Between her health issues and my fibromyalgia (and associated conditions), it's been difficult sometimes.  When the pain or the depression hits so bad that it's hard for the other person to understand what's going on, that's when we depend on each other the most.  I know that I would've been hard pressed to make it through the last couple years as the FMS symptoms have gotten worse and my arthritis has become almost unbearable, at times.  Having the support of a loving, caring mate has helped me get through the worst of it.  Having her and the kids in my life gives me a reason to push myself to not allow this disease to beat me.  From the bottom of my heart, her unwavering support for me during this time says more than she's ever been able to vocalize (and since she's where the kids got their chatterbox tendencies from ... that's saying something.  :D )

Til Death Do Us Part - Today marks the start of our 18th year of marriage (21st year of being a couple).  For me, it's just a down payment on the time we're going to spend together.  She Who Must Be Adored completes me (and this is just one of the reasons she must be Adored.  :) When we aren't together (I'm away on business or she's off with the kids somewhere for a couple days, what-have-you), I feel a chunk of myself missing.  The bed feels empty.  The house echos.  There's a feeling of missing something.  When she returns, all of the emptiness is filled again and I feel complete, once more.

For my beautiful wife, thank you for making the last 17 years special for me.  Happy Anniversary, love, and here's to another 53 years.  'cause 70 years together has that nice round feeling to it, don't it?

Things I Am Thankful For

There are many things in this life that I am thankful for.

I am thankful for:

•  My wife.  After almost 17 years together, she's still by my side.  Considering how much of a stubborn, pigheaded, grumpy pain-in-the-neck I can be, well, this definitely tops my list for this year.
• My family - my wife's been nice enough to play host to four wonderful children.  They are smart, talented and the light of our lives.  I might not show it to them as often as I should, but I very proud of the people they are growing up to be.
• My extended immediate family.  I'm thankful that I've got family in the area that are more than willing to help when we need a hand.  I'm thankful that they are there.  Our lives would be much less without them in it.  From my mother and brother (the one that's in town) and the other brother and his wife (both of whom moved off to Texas and rarely wander back this way).  On the wife's side, I'm thankful that her mom and dad have both accepted me into their family with open arms.  They've even gone so far as to make the same invitation to the rest of my side of the family in town.  They're a very loving and generous couple.
• My health - as miserable as I am due to health issues, I am very thankful I can still function relatively normally.  On any given day, it's in doubt, but on average, my health is reasonable enough to let me live a semi-normal life.
• My job - Given the current economy, I'm truly grateful to still be employed.  Pay cuts hurt, but being unemployed hurts worse.  With my health making it difficult some days to be at work, the fact that I'm still employed, even with the health issues, makes me very grateful.
• Our cats - It's little things in life, like watching two fuzzy friends grow from a small kitten to full size cats that make the world seem even more amazing.  Guen and Bel are both very opinionated furballs but definitely members of the family.  Guen loves to come and lay beside a family member that's not feeling well.  She'll lean up against them and just lay there purring and keeping them company.  A little ray of sunshine to make it easier to deal with illnesses and fatigue. Bel (aka Bellatrix and Mud depending on what she's up to) is just like another kid in the house.  She's cute, she knows it, and she intends to use it against us.  :) She's also a very loving little pest that tries help make everyone feel better.

There are many other things in my life that I'm thankful for.  I just wanted to hit the highlights for everyone to see, here.

Stupid People are Stupid

I really don't know which part of this story gets my goat more - the fact that the local NBC station is going into PSH over it or the guy thought he could bring a loaded weapon (even if the weapon itself was not loaded, his magazines were, ergo...) in his carry-on luggage. Note - I wanted to include the TSA in that little rant, but it appears that the TSA found it during screening, before the passenger could board a plane.

To summarize - a passenger attempted to bring a Ruger .45 and ammunition past security at Richmond International Airport earlier this morning.  Why this qualifies as BREAKING NEWS 5 hours after the fact ... I'll leave that for y'all to figure out.

Now, the guy could've very easily forgotten it was there if he routinely carries in the bag he had on the plane.  I know I've had items in my laptop bag that would've made airport security rather ... excited ... if they'd found them.  :P  While explanatory, it's not exculpatory.  It was a stupid move.  If you're transporting your weapons (and yourself) by plane, follow the rules and procedures.  Yes, it's a pain in the butt.  Yes, it's an intrusion into privacy, etc. etc.  But (and it's a big but), it prevents you from violating any number of federal laws.  Which means, you'll be able to keep that nice, shiny CHP (oh, and the firearms, too) that the Commonwealth of Virginia was nice enough to issue to you.

The local station is starting to get on my nerves with the hysterical rants about guns, lately.  Now, I know this isn't a change for them, it's just that I've started paying more attention to articles/stories about gun usage.  We've had several stories over the past couple weeks that the hysteria became in-your-face-obvious.  The first was a local deputy that used a personal weapon (not even his duty sidearm) to defend himself and his home from a burglar.  The local papers and TV news tried to play the story off as a vigilante mission by the deputy and were making calls for something to be done to the deputy.  Now, VA is NOT a Castle Doctrine state (yet, that is).  The legal precedents in the local courts strongly lean that direction, however.  The deputy was doing what any homeowner should be allowed to do - protect himself.  Almost two weeks later, the state police are still investigating, but likely won't do anything to the deputy.  However, the article makes it sound like the homeowner was in the wrong for shooting someone WHO BROKE INTO HIS HOUSE and THREATENED HIS FAMILY.

The second story happened just this past weekend and is making the rounds of the gun blogs.  Sebastian at Shall Not Be Questioned is just one example of the reaction.  Now, the guy was carrying a loaded Glock in his waistband without a holster.  Definitely falls into the category of Less Than Intelligent Moves.  Guy did something stupid and paid the price.  His wife is quoted as seeing him move it around when it went off.  GAAAAH!  Modern firearms (yes, even Glocks) don't just "go off".  On a bad day, surrounded by idiots, *I* am more likely to "just go off" than your standard firearm.  Holsters, in this case, are good for two things - making sure that the weapon doesn't randomly drop out and keeping outside objects from interacting with the bang switch.  Especially your finger.  The local coverage of this story played up the "evil gun decided to take the guy's life" angle instead of using it as a reinforcement of the importance of safety.  Yes, the man was less than bright for carrying that way.  A $10 piece of cheap plastic would've done him better.  Playing to peoples' fear, instead of using it as a means to instruct, is just sad.

I better stop this here, because the more I think on this, the angrier I get, and my co-workers would rather I keep the angry mumbling to a minimum.

Days that suck

You ever have one of those days that just truly suck? Days that suck your energy, patience, and desire to accomplish anything right out of you? Well, today is one of the days for me.


My fibro limits me in various ways. When I overextend, like I did this weekend wtih laying tile in one of my mom's bedrooms and the helping my son stay up prepping for a sleep deprivation EEG and then taking him to said EEG. When I overextend, my body reminds me of it for several days. Aches, dizziness, cramps and muscle spasms, heavy fatigue, and loss of appetite all are ways my body (because of the fibro) remind me that I over did it. The flare hits worse the day after but normally lasts for several days. The severity diminishes somewhat as my body manages recover from the overwork that I out it through.

That's something that a lot of folks don't understand. I can do a lot of things that are considered normal. They don't see the torment that I go through on the following days. That's why I have to be careful and pick and choose which activities I will do.

Now, while this is a bit of a rant, I want to make it clear that I do not ever intend for this disease to keep me from doing what I want to do. I will do what I need to do and accept the consequences. At that point, it's my choice to be a stubborn, pigheaded Polack. Everyone else just needs to get out of my way. I don't need to be babied. I am learning the new limits that my body has decided to enforce. I am also aware of the consequences of going beyond those limits.

I will not let this disease beat me. I will not let it dictate to me how I should live my life. I acknowledge the limits and their consequences. I will not let them stop me from helping my family and doing things with my family. My family is too precious to me for me to allow it to take them and activities with them away from me.

I apologize that this is a little ranty and a lot incoherent. I'm dealing with the consequences of overextending this weekend. My brain and body are barely functioning today. I'm lucky to have made it into work today.

-- Sham


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Not quite ready for the Wookie suit

The other night, She Who Must Be Adored (bka my wife of almost 17 years) and I were having a discussion on political views. She made the comment that a lot of my views were in line with what Penn Jillette promotes (an atheistic Libertarianism.

I got to thinking. Having done some research on the Libertarian Party in the past, I've found that I agree with much of their stated viewpoint on things. It can be simply boiled down to "Everybody's treated like an adult. I stay out of your business and you say out of mine.".

However, there are a few things that I disagree with them on. I believe that a minimal government is a necessary evil while they want no government. I believe that the fastest and longest lasting way to handle some issues is with violence and overwhelming force. The LP is so non-violent that you have to sign a vow to that affect when joining the party. My disagreement comes from the fact that evil exists in this world. Sometimes, it takes a use of force to stop that evil or to protect me and mine from the evil.

I decided (on a lark) to take the Libertarian Purity Test located here. I scored 89/160. According to the test's author, that puts me as a "medium-core Libertarian".

No need for a Wookiee suit yet (but, man would that be cool!)

--- Sham

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

9/11 Remembrance

This was originally posted on September 11, 2006 on another blog site for the 5th anniversary of the attacks on the World Trade Center.  I'm reposting it to remember, on the 10th anniversary.

We survived

Well, Hurricane Irene's been and gone. And we survived. Other than not having any power (along with over 1 million other households statewide), we're fine. Our house (and my mom and in-laws as well) escaped damage. One of my neighbor's wasn't as lucky. Nothing catastrophic, but they've got a nice hole in their roof.

Got our debris cleaned, helped our neighbors get the worst picked up and managed to clear the roads out of the neighborhood. Now, I'm already exhausted and hurting. Bleh.

Tomorrow's not going to be pleasant.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

New employee

Well, after the earthquake yesterday, we had a couple more employees join the staff.




Little fruit bat that was living somewhere decided try and escape. Too bad he ended up on our floor instead. Third one since yesterday.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

And the earth moves under my feet

With apologies to Carole King for the horrible misuse of song lyrics ...

As most of you are aware, the East Coast just got hit by a pretty hefty earthquake.  5.9 on the Richter Scale, it was located just outside of the Charlottesville, VA area.  That's about an hour away from where I'm sitting (as the crow follows the road).  It got interesting.

I work in a nice, secure building that's entirely made out of concrete and rebar.  No windows.  When a quake can make this building move ... the occupants scatter like ants out of a smashed anthill. 

Now, today's been one of those days where I've been fighting dizzy spells.  A couple of them were rather nasty.  When the building started shaking, I was trying to figure out why my dizzy spells were getting so bad, suddenly.  Now, they DO get that bad, but they usually work their way up to that point, and they hadn't yet.  When the soda machine started trying to dance with me ... well, I figured at that point it wasn't just my head acting up.  Of course, my next thought was, "What did the contractors hit the building with this time?"  They'd already taken several good chunks out of one corner with a bucket lift, so it was possible.

Oh, well.  Family's all safe - even though my mom slept through it until her dachshund started going bonkers over the quake and my mother-in-law needs to learn to turn her cell phone on while babysitting ... Other than that and an overloaded phone system, it looks like we've managed to avoid major damage.

Now, if we could only keep that trend when Irene pays us a visit this coming weekend.

As one of my coworkers said, "We've had forest fires (Great Dismal Swamp), earthquake and a hurricane this coming weekend.  Any other natural disasters want to come join in the fun?"

Oh, well.  Time to get back to work.  Time to cut of the stream of conciousness ramble.

-- Sham

NPR's top 100 Sci Fi series/books

Okay, so it appears that a meme has struck.   Kahr40 at From The Barrel of a Gun has his list of NPR's top 100 Sci-fi books/series up.

Now, I'd read through the list when NPR first put them up (and even voted for mine when voting was opened).  Never thought of listing which ones I've read.  So, here goes.  The ones in bold are the ones that I've actually read.

1. The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy, by J.R.R. Tolkien
2. The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, by Douglas Adams
3. Ender's Game, by Orson Scott Card
4. The Dune Chronicles, by Frank Herbert
5. A Song Of Ice And Fire Series, by George R. R. Martin
6. 1984, by George Orwell
7. Fahrenheit 451, by Ray Bradbury
8. The Foundation Trilogy, by Isaac Asimov
9. Brave New World, by Aldous Huxley
10. American Gods, by Neil Gaiman
11. The Princess Bride, by William Goldman
12. The Wheel Of Time Series, by Robert Jordan
13. Animal Farm, by George Orwell
14. Neuromancer, by William Gibson
15. Watchmen, by Alan Moore
16. I, Robot, by Isaac Asimov
17. Stranger In A Strange Land, by Robert Heinlein
18. The Kingkiller Chronicles, by Patrick Rothfuss
19. Slaughterhouse-Five, by Kurt Vonnegut
20. Frankenstein, by Mary Shelley
21. Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep?, by Philip K. Dick
22. The Handmaid's Tale, by Margaret Atwood
23. The Dark Tower Series, by Stephen King
24. 2001: A Space Odyssey, by Arthur C. Clarke
25. The Stand, by Stephen King
26. Snow Crash, by Neal Stephenson
27. The Martian Chronicles, by Ray Bradbury
28. Cat's Cradle, by Kurt Vonnegut
29. The Sandman Series, by Neil Gaiman
30. A Clockwork Orange, by Anthony Burgess
31. Starship Troopers, by Robert Heinlein
32. Watership Down, by Richard Adams
33. Dragonflight, by Anne McCaffrey
34. The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress, by Robert Heinlein
35. A Canticle For Leibowitz, by Walter M. Miller
36. The Time Machine, by H.G. Wells
37. 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea, by Jules Verne
38. Flowers For Algernon, by Daniel Keys
39. The War Of The Worlds, by H.G. Wells
40. The Chronicles Of Amber, by Roger Zelazny
41. The Belgariad, by David Eddings
42. The Mists Of Avalon, by Marion Zimmer Bradley
43. The Mistborn Series, by Brandon Sanderson
44. Ringworld, by Larry Niven
45. The Left Hand Of Darkness, by Ursula K. LeGuin
46. The Silmarillion, by J.R.R. Tolkien(does it count if you start it, get bored out of your mind and wander off to find something to save what's left of your sanity?)
47. The Once And Future King, by T.H. White
48. Neverwhere, by Neil Gaiman
49. Childhood's End, by Arthur C. Clarke
50. Contact, by Carl Sagan
51. The Hyperion Cantos, by Dan Simmons
52. Stardust, by Neil Gaiman
53. Cryptonomicon, by Neal Stephenson
54. World War Z, by Max Brooks
55. The Last Unicorn, by Peter S. Beagle
56. The Forever War, by Joe Haldeman
57. Small Gods, by Terry Pratchett
58. The Chronicles Of Thomas Covenant, The Unbeliever, by Stephen R. Donaldson
59. The Vorkosigan Saga, by Lois McMaster Bujold
60. Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett
61. The Mote In God's Eye, by Larry Niven & Jerry Pournelle
62. The Sword Of Truth, by Terry Goodkind
63. The Road, by Cormac McCarthy
64. Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell, by Susanna Clarke
65. I Am Legend, by Richard Matheson
66. The Riftwar Saga, by Raymond E. Feist
67. The Shannara Trilogy, by Terry Brooks
68. The Conan The Barbarian Series, by R.E. Howard
69. The Farseer Trilogy, by Robin Hobb
70. The Time Traveler's Wife, by Audrey Niffenegger
71. The Way Of Kings, by Brandon Sanderson
72. A Journey To The Center Of The Earth, by Jules Verne
73. The Legend Of Drizzt Series, by R.A. Salvatore
74. Old Man's War, by John Scalzi
75. The Diamond Age, by Neil Stephenson
76. Rendezvous With Rama, by Arthur C. Clarke
77. The Kushiel's Legacy Series, by Jacqueline Carey
78. The Dispossessed, by Ursula K. LeGuin
79. Something Wicked This Way Comes, by Ray Bradbury
80. Wicked, by Gregory Maguire
81. The Malazan Book Of The Fallen Series, by Steven Erikson
82. The Eyre Affair, by Jasper Fforde
83. The Culture Series, by Iain M. Banks
84. The Crystal Cave, by Mary Stewart
85. Anathem, by Neal Stephenson
86. The Codex Alera Series, by Jim Butcher
87. The Book Of The New Sun, by Gene Wolfe
88. The Thrawn Trilogy, by Timothy Zahn
89. The Outlander Series, by Diana Gabaldan
90. The Elric Saga, by Michael Moorcock
91. The Illustrated Man, by Ray Bradbury
92. Sunshine, by Robin McKinley
93. A Fire Upon The Deep, by Vernor Vinge
94. The Caves Of Steel, by Isaac Asimov
95. The Mars Trilogy, by Kim Stanley Robinson
96. Lucifer's Hammer, by Larry Niven & Jerry Pournelle
97. Doomsday Book, by Connie Willis
98. Perdido Street Station, by China Mieville
99. The Xanth Series, by Piers Anthony
100. The Space Trilogy, by C.S. Lewis


It's amazing to think about how much of these I've read (45/100).  It's even scarier to think about how many times I've REread some of them (the Dragonriders of Pern books, the Xanth novels, the LotR trilogy, and others).  I can't even begin to count the re-reads.

Looking at this list, it gives me a lot to add to my "to be read" list.

A Confused Conservative

I originally wrote this on another blog.  The majority of the points are still pertinent. 


-----------------------------------------------------------
I know what y'all are thinking. Any conservative person in America today has to be confused. Far be it from me to disabuse you of the notion.

I should say that I'm a confusing conservative. I believe in several things that put me in that camp.

I believe:

1. There is a God who sent His Son to die for us over 2000 years ago.
2. Every person (male, female, black, white, purple, etc.) has the right to my respect.
3. Every person has a right to lose my respect as soon as they prove that they are no longer worthy of having it.
4. Every person has the right to live their life as they choose, in the boundaries of their own values, as long as they don't force those values upon me (see #3 above).
5. Every person has a right to be free of me forcing my beliefs on them. A corollary to #4 above.

Given these beliefs I tend to fit in to the conservative group.

Where things get confusing is that, while I am very conservative (Def: "Favoring traditional views and values; tending to oppose change.", primarily the "oppose change" part), I am very much an independent thinker. I don't fit into any one whole. I am an octagonal peg being shoved into a triangle hole.

I am pro-life. I believe that all life is sacred and special. However, I understand that not everyone agrees with me. I understand that others believe that taking that life before it ever gets a chance to start is acceptable.

I am for the freedom of speech. I won't necessarily agree with what you are saying, but I will fight to the death to defend your right to say it.

I am all for debate prior to making a decision. However, once that decision is made, our support should be behind that decision. A classic example of this is the war in Iraq. I did not believe all of the rhetoric given for going in prior to it starting (I still don't), but I support the effort going now, because I believe our soldiers need all of the support at home that they can get. I've seen what happens when soldiers return home and get scorned, tormented and abused. I've seen friends' fathers withdraw from their family and friends because of this treatment. This is a lesson we need to learn from Vietnam. These men and women need our support.

I am an avid gamer. I play all kinds of computer, board, and role-playing games. Yes, role-playing games. That's a whole OTHER rant. I'll probably get to that tomorrow.

My politics are even more confused that my personal beliefs.

• I believe in a small, minimally interfering government. However, I believe in a state supported welfare system.
• I believe in a state supported welfare system. However, I believe that it should be limited in scope, time, and have responsibility on the part of the recipient to earn/work for these benefits.
• I believe in a strong, well paid/supplied military. However, I think that some of the decisions made by said military are down right stupid.
• I believe that killing people is wrong. Period. Full stop. HOWEVER, comma, I believe that the death penalty is a viable punishment for certain offenses. One way that my thinking has changed over the years since this was first written.  Anyone who threatens my life or safety or the life/safety of my wife and children are taking their lives into their own hands.  I will not refuse to use force, up to and including the use of deadly force, if my life, or the life of my family is endangered.  While this might seem like a stretch, it's just a tweaking of my thoughts on the death penalty.  It's just a little more immediate.  If someone chooses to violate the social contract to the point of jeopardizing me ore my family, well, they made their choice.  I'll deal with the consequences to my conscience, but I'll still have my family around to help me with that.

In this past Presidential election, I was in a bit of quandary. I disagreed with all of the candidates. And I agreed with all of the candidates. See what I mean about being confused?

Oh, well.

*wanders off scratching his head*

A Piece of History

My wife is probably going to get very upset with me over this post.  Not because it's bad, or depicts her in a negative way.  It's something that will remind her of a very scary afternoon.  One that still haunts her to this day.  Anyways, this post originally appeared back on September 6, 2005.  The events described happened on that Labor Day.

Anyways, here it goes for posterity's sake.

You know how they say, when you're dying, your entire life flashes before your 
eyes? Well, I had a similar experience this past Labor Day weekend. Only, it wasn't 
my life flashing before my eyes. 

It was my daughter's.

It's amazing to think that in a span of seconds, memories that span almost four and 
a half years can flip through your mind. Images of the sweet little girl (that blessed little 
girl, after three boys) in her mother's arms at the hospital. Images of her sitting in her 
bouncer just smiling up at her daddy as she played quietly. Thoughts of how, as a 
baby, she would wake up in the middle of the night and only be calmed by Daddy 
cradling her against his chest on the couch. Images of her taking her first steps. Thoughts 
of her "hugs around the neck" and the exuberant delight that she had in sharing them. 
Thoughts of her gentle kisses on my cheeks as she climbed, sleepily, into her bed at 
night. Thoughts of her laughter as she was spun around the pool just earlier that afternoon.

All of that flashed through my mind's eye in the time it took me to travel fifty feet. That's 
the distance from my father-in-law's chair in his den to the far side of his pool. See, my 
daughter had decided that she was going to ignore the rules, and get in the pool without 
an adult with her. She's tall enough that she can stand in the shallow end and have her 
head above water. Well, she was playing with a little toy boat and it started drifting along 
the wall towards the deep end of the pool. She managed to stay on the edge of the pool 
where the water is the same depth as the shallow end. Once she reached the far side of 
the pool, she slipped and went under the water.

I thank God that my wife's uncle chanced to look over there at that moment. The dear 
man jumped into the pool to save her, even though he can barely swim himself. I also 
thank God that my wife's cousin is also a certified lifeguard and responded faster than 
I could. If not for these two men, my life today could be very different than it was that 
Saturday morning.

Fortunately, my sweet, bright little girl remembered everything that we'd taught her 
and her brothers about swimming underwater. As soon as she felt herself going under 
the water, she grabbed her nose, closed her eyes and held her breath. This right here 
is what gave us the time to get to her and help her.

My wife, bless her heart, heard a comment from her aunt ("Is she dead?") as we were 
laying her on the diving board to check her out. She (my wife) actually handled it 
better than I would have expected. She got upset, and worried and only a little 
hysterical. Many mothers would've completely gone off the deep end (no pun 
intended). Needless to say, we have taken a little extra time with our (extra) precious 
little angel over the last several days.

Ever since this happened, I've been beating myself up, trying to figure out what I 
could've done to have prevented this. There were several adults outside with her. 
When I got out of the pool (I was the last adult out), I made sure that she came out of 
the pool with me. She had been playing with her brothers in the yard. Between one 
moment and the next, she decided that she'd get back in the pool and play with the 
boat. She's been outside there playing, a lot. Our children are blessed with grandparents 
nearby and get to see them on a regular basis. Every other time that she's been outside, 
she's respected the rules and stayed away from the pool. I'm not the kind of father to 
chain his kids into one place and not allow them to have any fun, especially in an 
environment where they are (so I think) safe and familiar with the rules and expected 
behaviors.

Anyways, I think now, I'm going to go upstairs, and peek in on my darling little 
girl and give her one more good night kiss. And then again in the morning (just to 
make sure that she's okay). I'm entitled to a little overanxious paranoia, now. 
Aren't I?

After all that, she's growing up to be a talented, intelligent and wonderfully well adjusted young lady.  She's still Daddy's little girl.  Oh, and she's not afraid of the water, at all.  She's turned into a little fish.

Why I do what I do

An article over on Wings of Iraq (a milblogger that's crazy enough to be a runner AND a Lawn Dart, erm Blackhawk driver) by a guest blogger (MajorMikeLyons) sparked something in my head.  The article was a "No, seriously, thank you for your service!" article fisking an editorial in Bloomberg (link shameless used from the WoI article).

  As a computer professional, I could get a job in any field and make a good living at it.  Why did I choose (and choose to remain in) a job with a Department of Defense contractor?  That gets a little deeper than "the pay's good" and "needed to support my wife and the family we'd started".  Sure, both of those factors played big roles in the decision, but there's something deeper in it. Something that comes from deeper inside.  I am a patriot.  I'm not a raving, flag waving, mouth-breathing fanatic (even though I've been known to do all of that from time to time).  I'm a firm believer that America is good, right and worth defending from all enemies, foreign and domestic.  It's part of why I get so bent out of shape over what the ... well, let's just say misguided Congresscritters are doing to our country.  Many rants will be coming out of those feelings.

This patriotism and belief in country is why I wanted to join the military while growing up.  As an Army brat, I got to see a lot of things, places and people that proved to me that America IS worth fighting for.  Because of this, I spent 4+ years in high school as part of the Junior Reserve Officer Training Corp (JROTC) in preparation for ROTC in college and, ultimately, a commission as an officer in the United States Army.  Sadly, that was not to be.  As a freshman in college, I was participating in an orientation course for a program for selected freshmen at the university.  A 1 credit hour fluff course, but required for participation in the program.  It was so fluffy, the instructor let us choose between rollerblading along some bike paths in the next city over ... or a food and drink gab session in the classroom.  The class voted to do the rollerblading.  To make a long story short (I can hear the "too late!" from the back of the room, so hush!), I ended up injuring my knee when I stopped to repair a broken skate lace.  Trying to stop on roller blades and then hitting a patch of gravel is not pleasant.  The Orthopedic doc I saw told me that I was lucky that I'd already had 2 prior injuries to that knee and stretched my ACL.  If I hadn't, it would've torn.  As it was, it was close to it.  Nice birthday present to myself.  Oh, I didn't mention that this entire fiasco was on my birthday?  Ooops.  Although, the nice side of it ... seeing someone injured brings out the maternal side of many a college coed... :D

Now, this was all back in the early 90's, during Bush I and Clinton's series of Reduction in Force (RIF) draw downs.  Recruiting standards got particularly tough and the recruiters had to be very selective.  Because of the injury and the timing, I was informed by the Army that my services where not going to be required.  It was a rather hard blow.

After more work in college (still not finished ... note to self - get yourself back to work!), I went to work for a small-ish Defense contractor near my home town.  Since I couldn't directly serve, I was (and still am) bound and determined to give the guys and gals out on the pointy end of the stick the tools that they need to do their job.

There you go.  Since I can't do what I wanted to do, originally, I'm doing the next best thing.  I help those who serve by providing tools they need to make the job of standing in harms way, just a little bit easier.

For our men and women in uniform, I just want to say, "Thank you."  For all that you deal with on a daily basis, and still remain willing to charge towards the sounds of the guns, "Thank you" is really a small reward.  For me, "Thank you" is just my way of saying, "Thank you for doing what I wish I could, but never got the chance to do."  God Bless you all, and may He grant that you return home safely, if you are deployed.

-- Sham

This should be interesting

Well, it appears that my old Blackberry Curve decided to give up on me. So, I went and upgraded to a IPhone 4.

This is going to be interesting. Small keys, big thumbs and a touchscreen is going to be fun. Remember, any typos are my fault, not the tool's. :)


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Rough week

You ever have one of those days where it seems like it's a major fight to get out of bed and then get through the day at work? I've had one of those weeks.

It started last weekend with a stomach virus that just wiped me out.  No energy, achy, no appetite.  Anything and everything that I ate all weekend, disturbed my stomach.  After the excitement last week (oral surgery and getting used to the dentures), I needed this weekend to be able to recharge.  Even though I did next to nothing all weekend, I didn't get the recharge I needed.  So, this week is dragging.

Getting up for work is hard.  Takes all my will to avoid just rolling over and going back to sleep.  This is another case of where my family helps me.  If I was by myself, I probably would give in to the urge to find a hole and pull it in after me on days like this.  Because of my family, I force myself to get up, shower, shave, and at least pretend to be functioning so that I can go to work and try to fool my coworkers into thinking that I'm coherent and functioning.  They all think I'm nuts, but that's okay.  I work for an Army contractor and the work environment definitely aligns with the old saying, "You don't have to be crazy to work here.  It just helps." I have to provide for my family.

Some days, that's the only thing that keeps me moving.

A Guy in a Skewed World: Intro to FMS

For a good number of years, I dealt with issues that baffled me.  You see, my family has a history of autoimmune disease.  My grandmother suffered from Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA) for many years before passing away due to complications. Several years back, I started feeling chronic fatigue (often even after a full night's sleep), muscle spasms, frequent and excruciating muscle cramps, frequent muscle aches and muscle weakness. 

I went to my normal doctor to see if we could figure out what was going on.  With the family history and being the primary means of support for my wife and family, I was concerned about what could be happening.  Fibromyalgia (FMS) is diagnosed, not through positive test results, but an elimination of other conditions. My doctor ran tests (and reran the tests) for lupus, RA, Multiple Sclerosis (MS) and other autoimmune diseases.  Over the course of several years, the symptoms only got worse.  It got to the point where I was going to work maybe 3 days out of 5 due to dealing with the symptoms.  My boss was very ... lenient ... where my absenteeism was concerned.  After approximately 3 years of trying to figure out what it is, my rheumatologist tested me for the 18 tender points usually associated with FMS. Out of the 18 points, I was (and still am) tender in 16 of them.  She then diagnosed me with FMS.  Not that having a diagnosis made life any easier, but it did set my mind at ease.  I had some idea of what I was dealing with.

For those that aren't aware, Fibromyalgia Syndrome is called a syndrome for a reason.  Not everyone who has FMS has all of the same symptoms.  Some deal with muscle aches, sleep deprivation, depression, joint aches.  Others deal with the muscle aches, muscle spasms, cramps and fatigue.  Others mix and match the symptoms in different ways.  That's part of why it's so difficult to diagnose FMS.  It's also part of why there are still doctors today who don't believe that FMS is real.  If you'd like more information on FMS, check out the nice WebMD article about it.

As a male with Fibro, I've managed to beat the odds rather dramatically.  It's a disease that's currently diagnosed in females more than males.  Depending on which set of statistics you pay attention to, it's either 95% or 10:1.  Now, this could be a gender bias on the syndrome.  My take (and this is backed up by some studies that I've managed to lose the links to), it's probably more common in men than is currently diagnosed, but due to male pigheadedness (aka machismo), help is not sought, so no diagnosis.  Most of the symptoms, taken separately, are all things that men are taught to ignore or work through.  Men don't admit (to themselves, much less others) that they're hurting, tired, weak or any of the other myriad symptoms.  It's seen as being weak.  It's seen as being less of a man.  It's. Just. Not. Done.  Ergo, fewer men get diagnosed with fibro. 

Even with the limitations on my activities due to the fibro, I'm still working.  It's been hard.  Some days, it's all I can do to climb out of bed and get ready for work.  I've been blessed with a boss that's been extremely lenient and willing to work.  I've come close to being fired several times, especially during the period where I didn't have a definitive name to put on what I was dealing with.  There were several times where I think my boss stepped out on thin ice to give me the time to work through it.  I'm glad he did.  Earlier this year, I hit 16 years with the company. 

I will say that a good part of why I've managed to make it and get back to a semblance normalcy is my family support system.  Through it all, I've had the unconditional support of my loving wife and our children.  My-in-laws and my parents have all shown considerable support over the years.  Between their support and a wonderful doctor (who also happens to be one of the last old fashioned country doctors), I'm back to something that vaguely resembles a normal life.  I do have to be careful in what I do because overextending is very easy.  I'm back to working 19 out of 20 days.  Which, as an American Male - I'm glad for it.

Looking at it, I'm looking at turning this into an extended series.  Look back for more.

New article series

While reading through posts about a woman with Fibromylagia Syndrome (FMS), I mentioned that I'm dealing with the same condition.  Since it's rare for a male to be diagnosed with FMS (whether that's due to male pigheadedness or just a gender bias in the condition itself is a topic for another post), she thought the male perspective on FMS would be a little more unique. That got me to thinking about it.  So, I decided that I'm going to do at least one article on what it's like to deal with FMS as a man in today's society.  If I manage to survive that round of navel gazing/scab picking, I might turn it into a longer series of articles.

What do y'all think?

Next step in a long procedure ...

And sadly, it's not getting my CHP application filed with the local district court.  That'll be done closer to this weekend.
Nope.  What I was referring to is trying to get used to the new feel of the upper plate of dentures.  All of this while trying to get over the pain and frustration of having the last of the teeth up front cut out at the same time.  Weeeee.

At least the doc gave me some Vicodin.  Good doc.  In all this, haven't had a single issue with dry socket or even other issues after having extractions done.  VERY good doc.  And he understands my psychosis towards dentists (and needles) and doesn't make fun of me for them!  Woot!  Oh, blogging while high is sooo much easier ... on the author.  Good luck reading all that!

Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition!

It looks like the Army finally decided to get off it's backside and make a decision about MAJ Nidal Hasan, the Fort Hood Shooter.  They've decided that a general court-martial is going to be held (that wasn't in doubt).  The kicker is the decision to seek the death penalty during the court-martial.  For the 13 people who were murdered and the 32 wounded by this terrorist, this day is one they've been waiting on.

The guys over at Blackfive are excited about this, but are quick to remind us that the President has to sign off on any death warrant arising from the proceedings.  Fortunately, by the time the trial's completed, there should be a new Commander-In-Chief.

You know, I've been thinking about the people that saw his jihadist rantings during briefings and otherwise overlooked (sometimes, rather deliberately) his radicalization.  Deebow at B5 has strongly recommended that each and everyone of them get tagged as non-promotable.  That's a good start.  There's a part of me, however, that would rather see each and everyone of them sat down in their own courts-martial and tried as accessories to murder for each and every one of the deaths caused by MAJ Hasan.  Additional charges of accessory to attempted murder should be applied to them as well for each of the 32 people that he wounded.  Will this happen?  I seriously doubt it.  I can very easily see the Army getting their pound of flesh from Hasan (and then dumping him into an unmarked grave out on the ranges of Fort Hood) and then letting the whole event drift off into the background.  I will be disappointed about it, but that's what I expect.

-- Sham

Welcome aboard!

Okay, now for the obligatory "Welcome to my blog" post.

I'm going to be writing about politics, guns and gun politics.  Not to mention anything else that might wander across my brain and not get caught by the filters that society appreciates that I put in place.

Anyways, welcome to my corner of the interwebz.  I hope you enjoy your stay!